now he look at me, eyes full of self pity. I looked away, cant face the reality, am discomfort with direct confrontation. His eyes seems honest but how can I say from a brief glance. My eyes on the floor, seems that I am having a panic attack, he still linger in front of me, wanting a contact, an eye contact is suffice to him, i think in mind. So I looked up at him, giving him the benefit of my eyes, he crack a smile, i looked away, damned this insecurity. Why I am always like that, it's like a meeting of two lost souls, two inferior being, both hesitates and both are not brave enough to utter anything. i break the ice by unconvincingly smiled at him and said hi. Oh how i could see his sense of relief when i uttered that magic word, he looked at me and i can feel that he is examining and judging the way i look, the way i presented myself to society. And hell, we were not even in our own society at that time, we were far far apart from our eastern cultures and values shenanigans. So we chatted for a while, i knew him from somewhere, but can't recall. When he told me, yeah, now i remember, we were in the same school but rarely spoke and were always minding our own business. He, with his peers and mine with mine's. I had just arrived for not more than a week, and the welcome by my so called seniors were unwelcomed by me, i was expecting to be the only one in Leicester. Anyway, he told me that he arrived two days ago and living in one hall of residence, clephan house or house of clephan, cant remember, but for sure it's a hall of residence. So I invited him to my house

2nd attempt to post my blog, what i'm writing is of no importance to anyone, just for my benefit, i'm trying to write a story to answer a call from kakiseni.com, i've chatted with Pang once and we sem to get along alright but then i'm still not sure whether i can make it as a writer. Too many things to learn and my language is not that commendable either. Anyway, i'm not about to give it up just for that mere reasons. ok here goes : He never knew what he may become and he never seem to care. People, around him, looking at him, never know their true intention, he proceed without glancing. Self confidence, or lacking of it, that he know, he doesnt have any.

It starts today when you want to change the world, when you are actually doing something about it. Before you were disgusted with mostly everything and always dissatisfied with also almost anything. You tend to think that you're the only one with the brain, and will never be humbled by anything. Well, you're certainly wrong, your capacity is not solely your own brain, the answer lies in the collective nature of human characterization and brains, a colletion of them can realised something. So I am extending an invitation to anyone who care to read this to join me in writing things that popped out in your mind and feel free not to worry on other people's judgment, just forget everything, refrain from reading again what you've written and write fast enough to forget the past sentences you have constructed. The aim is to get pure thoughts out of your mind. It seems chaotic but that's the only way, or the most viable way to obtain systematic flow of thoughts. Sometimes when we write we tend to go out of focus, let it be, let it be because between the lines and between what you write there will be something in it that you cant describe in genuinety.
So just write, without paragraphs or any concsious apprehension on how the words should be constructed, i write with my two fingers and so far i havent managed to read what i have written, it's really something that proved much of an appeal to look back and corrected some things that has been written, but i try not to. I am writing and describing it as it is, as what churned out from my brain, though sometimes, the brain works faster then my fingers, still i try to digest and bring out the gist.

regards
rozman