when i turn around they say you are frozen to the spot. your part will come someday when things does not muddle over certain surfaces. Bring the life of a saint to front and the incomplete union will indefinitely accentuated. I will not wear you down in an enclosed space, i will wear you out at the wide open space. The elephant and the duck stares as you rest your hand on your head heading up to the stars. Screaming youth oblivious to the happenings around them, succumbed in their own life and priority, the world does not matter, the life of others does not play important part in their ever eternal life. a song playing through your thick head and giant wavy hair come to a point of real curly hairdo. the president doesnt live here and no one of his stature may embrace this soil. your look epitome sadness and utter anguish. no more handshakes no more science experience experiments.

They sequestered themselves there, as always. I might be wrong but where is my sworn life? I used to think and sing that there is no future to dream about. Let's go down to the lake, there's nothing to see. What will I do? Start again, begin again at the edge of a square, walk it through over its physical space. Words are spreading out, come again? Nothing spectacular, just the ordinary simple yelling. Falsetto whining, drum beat in accord with the tambourine shake. Decline, detest, saying no repeatedly with distorted face. No sounds like know. You have to piss on the rain again? you have take the piss at everything. When I turn around, you stiffen my spine, the boy look up at me, i look back at him, staring nothing. I will paint my own life at the distant corner of my right hand. Yellow baby, gawking eyes wondering for some comfort. This heart, too many holes and patches shaking violentlty waiting for the alarm clock to run out of batteries. Ruptures of volcanoes ensuring the deadly work. they dont speak for us, stoic approach with the carbon monoxide. This is my final fit, my final bellyache, no more tears no more hearfelt sadness, please please.

where did that stuff come from, what made you want to make that sound heard? you have to piss at the rain, drenched your jeans with your sweet manly sweat. When you done with it, you lick your upper lip and draw your attention to another corner. Stride, like a midnight cowboy, holding tight to your invisible guns, rightfully at each hand. Smirking while glancing to your left, saw young, young people sitting. laughing their heart out, idling talking about their next conquest or adventure. You still have not figure out what you are goin to do with your next life.

of writing about the one that you know most, and of thinking of mustering an effort to publish your own script, radio an tv script that is, will it be any difficult as doing any other things? format, hate that, but have to know it before attempting to, but why not go against it. to what story should i think of? a story o me losing my sanity? or astory of my close friends turning back on their faith? what will be will be whenever i think i will do it, it will be done. what's going on my ming right now is the fear of being rejected, the fear of not corresponding with the intended public. how natural can one be natural?

now he look at me, eyes full of self pity. I looked away, cant face the reality, am discomfort with direct confrontation. His eyes seems honest but how can I say from a brief glance. My eyes on the floor, seems that I am having a panic attack, he still linger in front of me, wanting a contact, an eye contact is suffice to him, i think in mind. So I looked up at him, giving him the benefit of my eyes, he crack a smile, i looked away, damned this insecurity. Why I am always like that, it's like a meeting of two lost souls, two inferior being, both hesitates and both are not brave enough to utter anything. i break the ice by unconvincingly smiled at him and said hi. Oh how i could see his sense of relief when i uttered that magic word, he looked at me and i can feel that he is examining and judging the way i look, the way i presented myself to society. And hell, we were not even in our own society at that time, we were far far apart from our eastern cultures and values shenanigans. So we chatted for a while, i knew him from somewhere, but can't recall. When he told me, yeah, now i remember, we were in the same school but rarely spoke and were always minding our own business. He, with his peers and mine with mine's. I had just arrived for not more than a week, and the welcome by my so called seniors were unwelcomed by me, i was expecting to be the only one in Leicester. Anyway, he told me that he arrived two days ago and living in one hall of residence, clephan house or house of clephan, cant remember, but for sure it's a hall of residence. So I invited him to my house

2nd attempt to post my blog, what i'm writing is of no importance to anyone, just for my benefit, i'm trying to write a story to answer a call from kakiseni.com, i've chatted with Pang once and we sem to get along alright but then i'm still not sure whether i can make it as a writer. Too many things to learn and my language is not that commendable either. Anyway, i'm not about to give it up just for that mere reasons. ok here goes : He never knew what he may become and he never seem to care. People, around him, looking at him, never know their true intention, he proceed without glancing. Self confidence, or lacking of it, that he know, he doesnt have any.

It starts today when you want to change the world, when you are actually doing something about it. Before you were disgusted with mostly everything and always dissatisfied with also almost anything. You tend to think that you're the only one with the brain, and will never be humbled by anything. Well, you're certainly wrong, your capacity is not solely your own brain, the answer lies in the collective nature of human characterization and brains, a colletion of them can realised something. So I am extending an invitation to anyone who care to read this to join me in writing things that popped out in your mind and feel free not to worry on other people's judgment, just forget everything, refrain from reading again what you've written and write fast enough to forget the past sentences you have constructed. The aim is to get pure thoughts out of your mind. It seems chaotic but that's the only way, or the most viable way to obtain systematic flow of thoughts. Sometimes when we write we tend to go out of focus, let it be, let it be because between the lines and between what you write there will be something in it that you cant describe in genuinety.
So just write, without paragraphs or any concsious apprehension on how the words should be constructed, i write with my two fingers and so far i havent managed to read what i have written, it's really something that proved much of an appeal to look back and corrected some things that has been written, but i try not to. I am writing and describing it as it is, as what churned out from my brain, though sometimes, the brain works faster then my fingers, still i try to digest and bring out the gist.

regards
rozman